As I witness my daughter growing into a woman and all that that means, I deeply ponder on how do we as mothers give them the greatest possibility of truly loving themselves in a culture that still heavily undermines and undervalues almost all things feminine.
How do we insulate our daughters against the over sexualization and objectification of women?
How do we help them know their deepest worth, live true to their passions and be bold in their greatest expression of their wild freedom in a society that demands conformity and energetic slavery?
How do we support them in rooting deep into the wisdom and embodiment of the feminine?
Our journey in the last few generations of women in the west has been to cultivate our freedom and empowerment, to strip away all the conditioning that says feminine means inferior and woman is meant to be enslaved to man and the masculine way of living. We forget sometimes how fresh our freedom is…how deep the residue of patriarchy and misogyny still is within our bones and our blood. We come from a lineage where women have been dominated, controlled, tortured, burned at the stake, raped, bought and sold, disrespected and hardly worshipped let alone truly loved for who we REALLY are as women.
Yes we have made huge strides forward to greater empowerment, equality and freedom for women and girls but there is so much more needed. It has to come all the way down into the roots of the issue which is that it is not just about woman’s freedom but about the recognition of the value of all things feminine in both men and women. A valuing of intuition, emotions, feelings, communication, connectedness, community, nature, wildness, gentleness, empathy, sensitivity, deep bonding, nurturance, primal fierceness, magic, sensuality, mystery and so much more.
I want my daughter to know she has value beyond how beautiful she is and how sexy she appears to someone and yet I know it is important to the feminine to play in the realms of beauty and radiance…that this is part of our embodiment of the divine as women. I just don’t want her to be owned by a culture that defines that experience of beauty in a very narrow way based on making women insecure so we buy all this needless crap to improve ourselves.
I want my daughter to connect deeply with her own authentic sexuality and sexual expression rather than be taught by media what is sexy. That her discovery of sexuality is in flow with her deepest feminine awakening rather than man’s ideas of good sex which honestly is still so overtly yang and disconnected from the greatest pleasure based spiritual awakening that is her birthright.
I want my daughter to trust in her heart and spirit’s guidance…the little feminine whispers of her intuition and the wise sensation messages from her body temple rather than believe rational thinking is the only way to guide her life, to be safe and “make it in the world”.
We as mothers play the most important role for our daughters…we are their first Guru and through our own way of being in our skin and the world we constantly transmit teachings and subtle imprints to them. Are we valuing our own feminine enough or are we still caught up in an over adrenalized, production oriented, competitive, masculine mode of existence? Have we opened ourselves fully to the exploration of what it means to be feminine, to be a Woman?
I know I am still uncovering what it really feels like to live more in my feminine, it is a constant discovery. The raw and real beauty that I am uncovering, the magic realms I am entering, the jewel of a woman that I am discovering within myself is the greatest treasure I could ever find.
This alive, juicy, vibrant, complex, deep feeling, fluid, powerful, dark, mysterious, creative force of a Woman that I am is absolutely the most priceless and precious thing I can share with my daughter. And that is all the more fuel to the fire in our great feminine awakening my friends…
photo by Loren Edward Wheeler